Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers

HW61

Six years ago Michael Myers and Jamie Lloyd disappeared after an attack on the Haddonfield Police Department but when Jamie Lloyd is found dead and missing a recently delivered baby, it’s up to a retired Doctor Loomis and an obsessed Tommy Doyle to keep the newborn out of Myers’ hands.

I have to sympathize with poor Myers’ plight just a little. Every time he goes out people are always trying to shoot him and that’s got to be stressful, not to mention more than a little depressing for the big guy. I mean yeah, he is trying to murder his entire family, but we’ve all got to have a hobby; his just happens to be considered a little bit more taboo than most. I can relate to that. I go out and everyone tries to shoot at me too just because I have a hobby that happens to be a little taboo as well. Of course mine has to do more with the flesh eating than the stabbing but tomato tomatoe. I do lose just a little bit of sympathy for him though when I think about the mask, all he has to do is take the damn thing off and he could move around with impunity. I get that his face is sacred and everything, but what about just getting a different mask, maybe one that looks like a goblin or an ogre, anything other than his iconic faceless mask. I’m sure no one would think it was him if he happened to randomly show up around one of his relatives with say, a Freddy Kruger mask. After all, Freddy Krueger never came around Haddonfield…at least I don’t think so.

At the end of Part 5, Michael Myers had been captured, Jamie sat safely in the sheriff’s office, and the police of Haddonfield breathed a sigh of relief that the killer’s reign of terror was finally over. Their relief was short lived though as a mysterious man in a black trench coat showed up at the police station and teared through the place with ease (his rampage was shown off camera). By the time the mystery man was done, both Michael and Jamie had disappeared. Six years later and a young woman is being wheeled through a corridor in a temple-like structure on her way to give birth. The moment she does, the baby is given to the same mysterious trench coated man from the end of Part 5, but the young woman (who is revealed to be the missing Jamie Lloyd) escapees with her child. Unfortunately for her, Michael Myers is hot on her tail. While Jamie is making her escape, three different people are listening to a radio show hosted by shock jock Barry Simms, Kara Strode, whose young son Danny has been hearing a voice telling him to kill, a grown up Tommy Doyle, the young boy Laurie was watching the night Michael came to kill her, and a retired Sam Loomis who has finally moved on from his quest to destroy Michael Myers. Simms is hyping up Haddonfield’s first Halloween celebration since Myers’ last appearance and while the three listen to his show Jamie is forced to hide out in a bus station where she places a call to the radio show begging for Loomis’ help. Jamie then flees the bus station in a stolen truck but is pursued by Myers in a van (yes, they have him driving again) who forces her truck off the road. Jamie runs into a barn hoping to escape her pursuer but ultimately finds herself impaled on a corn thresher. When Myers goes to grab the baby from the truck he finds the newborn gone.

HW62{Myers’ disappointed face}

The next day Tommy Doyle (Paul Rudd in one of his first major roles) is replaying the radio broadcast from when Jamie called in the night before. He’s become obsessed with Michael Myers ever since he first saw the killer as a young boy and he’s determined to stop him no matter what. He manages to track the phone call to the very same bus station where Jamie was hiding and follows a trail of blood to where Jamie hid the baby. Apparently this is not just an extremely dirty station with no janitors, but one that is also highly unobservant as well. Tommy takes the baby to a hospital and runs into Doctor Loomis who is there investigating the recent death of Jamie Lloyd. Tommy warns the doctor that Michael has come home before running off. On his way back, Tommy runs into young Danny walking home to celebrate some pumpkin carving fun. It is here that Tommy makes a startling discovery, Danny and his mother Kara live in the former home of Michael Myers, the same place where a young Myers murdered his sister. It’s here that Kara comes home to discover Tommy watching both Danny and Jamie’s newborn child. The four of them head back over to the boarding house that Tommy is staying in and it’s here Tommy explains that Michael is The Thorn, the embodiment of an ancient Druidic curse meant to appease blood sacrifices. He then goes out to meet with Loomis but while he is gone, a secret group of doctors interested in controlling the evil of Myers (whose leader happens to be the mysterious man in the trench coat) enacts their plan and by the time Tommy and Loomis return, they are too late. The group not only wants the last living Myers’ relative but Danny as well, believing him to be the next Thorn. After drugging both Tommy and Loomis the group takes off with the baby, Danny, and Kara. Tommy and Loomis become the last line of defense for the world as they race to Smith’s Grove for one final confrontation.

HW67{A confrontation they might not survive}

Okay, I know that was a really long summary. Normally I try to go for a one paragraph description on whatever film I’m reviewing, but on this one I couldn’t find a way to do that. Why? Because I wanted to express exactly how bad Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers truly is. At one time this was actually one of my favorite films in the series but after watching one through six, I have to say this is one of the worst. There are so many things wrong with this flick that I think an Escher painting makes more sense. Let’s just go down the list shall we:

  1. First things first, why the hell did they suddenly decide to give Myers a reason to kill? He never needed a reason before so why now? Michael Myers’ strongest suit was that there was no reason as to why he went on killing rampages. He just did it because, well because. There was no good explanation and that made him such a terrifying serial killer. Those killers we all know about such as Dahmer, Bundy, Gacy, and Cheney had a reason to kill and while they are still terrifying, reason or no reason, we are at least comforted by the fact that there is some reason behind what they do. We can make sense of their horrific actions in our own heads because they had a reason to do what they did, no matter how horrible it was. Myers was always outside of this realm, we could make no sense of what he did because there wasn’t any decent reason for his actions. It made his character one of the most terrifying to enter the silver screen, and he didn’t need a demonic force or supernatural nature to make it happen. That was what made him so terrifying. With this installment we are given a reason why Myers went on a rampage and it dampens his character to a point where he losses any sense of ambient creepiness and becomes just another horror movie slasher.
  2. Kara’s son Danny is described as being the next Michael Myers. He’s supposed to be the newest model in the line of mass murdering psychopaths but with a simple word from his mother he just gives up his predestined urges and goes back to being a normal kid. From what they said (in this movie alone) there is no way to deny becoming the next Thorn. The Thorn is described as the one person in each generation who is given the urge to kill his entire family, an urge he is unable to resist thus the reason young Myers killed his sister and then spent the rest of his life trying to kill off the rest of his family. It’s supposed to be some kind of blood ritual to appease the spirits or gods or something but as soon as Danny’s mom says “Don’t” he listens. I guess Michael’s parents just never said no to the boy.
  3. Doctor Loomis was so obsessed with Michael Myers that he easily put a little girl’s life in jeopardy just to catch him. He was so convinced of the danger from Myers, even when they had put dozens of bullets in him, that he never gave up trying to hunt him down, yet in this flick, even though Myers simply disappeared, he has no problem just walking away from the situation.
  4. Bus stations aren’t the cleanest of places but I’m pretty sure they would have noticed a trail of blood that is easily visible, especially in a town that had been terrorized by a serial killer.
  5. Newborn Myers is pretty resilient considering he is just left in a cabinet right after being born and then not given food for a while.
  6. How do none of the family living in the Myers’ house not realize where they live? It would have to be one of the most famous places in the country yet nobody but the father (Laurie Strode’s adoptive uncle) knows this. It would be like nobody realizing they were living in the Gacy house.
  7. Loomis seems to realize it’s Michael the moment he sees the Thorn symbol but that was only just brought up in the previous film and even then only briefly. Loomis never seemed to know about it, but in this film he is suddenly is completely aware.
  8. Don’t get me started on the driving thing.
  9. What the hell did the group of doctors trying to gain control of Myers’ evil hope to accomplish? They don’t seem to really have an agenda just “Get control of baby, kill some people, make it work.” That whole group was a huge weak link.
  10. Where did the baby come from? Was it Myers’ own inbred child or did they use a member of their sect’s sperm to impregnate the girl.

These are only a small number of things wrong with the movie. There are actually more, believe it or not, but I don’t have the space to name them all.

HW64{I don’t even want to know the back story about how she got pregnant}

Most of the cast and crew for this film have actually disavowed their participation in it such was their hatred of the film. It turns out that there is another version that has about forty minutes of different footage, a version that has been labeled “The Producer’s Cut.” In it, many of the things that don’t make sense are actually explained, but director Joe Chapelle decided that he didn’t like that version and re-filmed many of the movie’s scenes. Amazing actor Donald Pleasence died before this film came out, and they had meant to extend the series out further with the Loomis character having more of a role but when the actor died, Chapelle wanted to redo some of the scenes to make the film more to his liking. The end result is this piece of garbage that ruins everything that had been done before it, making the movie come across as a disjointed and lame addition to the series. As much as the series had already been lessened by Parts 4 and 5, the series would have still benefited from finishing at the end of Part 5. There are a couple of good things from this last installment (sorry, I don’t count H20 or Resurrection) but it mostly destroys anything great left from Michael Myers.

Hw65{#lesigh}

So what was good? Only a couple of things really. This was Paul Rudd’s first major film role and he did a great job with the character of Tommy Doyle. Even though I hate this flick, adult Tommy Doyle is one of my favorite characters from the series. Most of the actors actually do a really good job with the only one coming across as less than spectacular, Pleasence himself. It’s not really his fault considering the man was toward the end of his life while they were filming. I actually wish he would have ignored the call to be Loomis once again. Pleasence was an amazing actor; you can take a look at any of his films and see how much talent the man had, but for his last film he comes across as unenergetic and tired because death was knocking at his door. He should have had a last flick that really showed his talent but instead he got this piece of shit. It was truly a sad day for the world of actors.

HW63{R.I.P.}

The only other thing that makes this movie any good were the deaths. Some of them were pretty fucked up and brutal. That being said, this was the first Halloween Dimension put out and by their standards it was pretty…well…standard. I like how fucked up some of the deaths were but if you’ve seen a Dimension flick, it isn’t really too amazing.

HW68

Out of all the Halloween flicks to date, this was the worst, minus the two I like to pretend don’t exist. I’d even go as far as saying this film was worse than the remake and I really hate the fucking remake. Still, at least that film was trying to reimagine the series while Part 6 just seemed to be out to destroy the whole thing. As much as it adds to the complete experience of watching Parts 1 through 6 I’d still say to just ignore this addition, you’ll be happy that you do.

 

The Undead Review

 

Michael Myers’ Kill Count

Impaled on a Spike: 1

Head Twisted Around: 1

Corn Thrasher: 1

Axe: 1

Stabbed: 3 (10 Series Total)

Throat Slit: 1 (3 Series Total)

Mercilessly Slaughtered in the Surgical Room: 12

Skull Destroyed: 1 (3 Series Total)

Electrocuted/Blown Up: 1

Myers’ Total Kills This Film: 24

Myers’ Total Kills: 68

 

Directed By: Joe Chappelle (Phantoms, The Skulls 2)

Starring: Donald Pleasence (Halloween 1, 2, 4, and 5, Dracula {1979}), Paul Rudd (Anchorman, Role Models), Marianne Hagan (Stakeland, Last Kind Words), and George P. Wilbur as Myers who is mostly a stuntman but was also Myers in Part 4, he was assisted by A Michael Lerner, a fellow stuntman

Written By: Daniel Farrands (The Tooth Fairy, The Girl Next Door)

Released By: Miramax Films, Nightfall, and Dimension Films

Release Type: Theatrical

Release Year: 1995

MPAA Rating: Rated R

Rotten Heads: One and a Half heads Out of Five

About The Undead Review

When I was alive I was an asshole and after I died remained pretty much the same, if not a little worse. You’d think becoming a member of the walking dead would mellow a person out, no more worrying about awkward small talk with people, no more having to be politically correct, and the entire world is your upright, bipedal buffet. Don’t get me wrong, it’s fun as hell to be a zombie, just somewhat irritating at times, especially those times you have to watch a lame movie or read a lame book. Thankfully, when I am forced to watch these films or read those books, I’ve got places like The Undead Review to bitch and moan to my heart’s content. {When he’s not devouring the living or sinking his teeth into a good film The Undead Review (Andy Taylor) spends his time writing his own stories or hunting down the paranormal. Oh, and did we mention his blind dog once saved the world?)
Image | This entry was posted in Movie Review and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s