Goat vs. Zombies


You are a goat, and it’s your job to harass the undead by being a general nuisance.

I can think of a lot of animals that would be a serious threat to zombiekind. Wolves, bears, lions, hyenas, crocodiles, all animals to be legitimately afraid of, but goats, not so much. Yeah, I know goats are known as nature’s assholes in many places around the world, head butting their way through towns like a drunken, pre reality show disaster Hulk Hogan, but they still don’t come across as much of a threat. An army of them sure, but an army or anything can be terrifying, and goats don’t even come to the top of the list of armies of things people worry about. Have you ever seen an army of babies? One of the scariest things a person can ever witness. An army of ants? Like having nature give you a personal viewing of her destructive power. An army of goats? How you get rid of weeds in an overgrown lawn. So, so, so many better options to fight zombies with. Hell, there’s a short list in The Wizard of Oz, and, unless I’m mistaken, that didn’t go: “Lions and tigers and bears and goats, oh my.”

Goat vs Zombies has a simple premise, the people of an amusement park/carnival, or possibly the world, have become zombified, and your goat-self hates the undead. Wander around the park testing out the rides and harassing the undead by head butting them, using your tongue to manipulate objects that will affect them, or springing a few well-placed traps. Controls are simple enough, tilt your screen in the direction you want to go and use a forward or backward button to determine movement while using a triangle of buttons for the head butting feature, the use of your tongue, and jumping. Navigate around the park, smashing zombies, throwing objects around, and testing out the rides.

GZ2{That tongue icon just doesn’t look quite right}

This is a game I had to play. The idea of navigating a goat around an amusement park to attack zombies and ride carnival attractions sounded awesome, but I didn’t put too much stock into my actually enjoying the game. It’s an idea that could go wrong in so many different ways, my biggest expectation was for it to be so silly it was only good for a five minute distraction before moving on to something else. What I surely didn’t expect was a game that was so damn addictive I found myself playing it over and over again. There was something extremely entertaining about running your goat around the park to discover all its secrets while you test out different ways to kill the undead. Head butting is of course the most frequent method you’ll use, but it’s by no means the only way. Scattered around the park are a plethora of other methods you can use, some of which never get old. You can use your tongue to drag objects to the top of a large slide, letting it roll down like a morbid game of undead bowling. You can maneuver a zombie in such a manner that a ride flings them far into the air. You can even shove a zombie into the path of an oncoming train. There are numerous death traps you can use in your quest to pester the walking dead. On top of that, you can also spend your time attempting to locate all the hidden icons sequestered in some of the harder to reach areas like the top of a Ferris Wheel, in the air above a catapult, and…well, I don’t want to give too many of them away. There is a whole list of achievements to earn from both finding the icons and finding inventive ways to kill zombies.

GZ3{It’s a very large park too}

Goat vs. Zombies is a better game than it seems, a free download for your phone without ads or hidden charges. If you’re looking for a fun download for your phone that won’t constantly assault you with attempts to make you pay for features, then Goat vs. Zombies is your game.


The Undead Review


Developed By: Top Free Best Games

Release Year: 2014

Platform: IOS or Android

ESRB: Everyone

Rotten Heads: Three Heads Out of Five

About The Undead Review

When I was alive I was an asshole and after I died remained pretty much the same, if not a little worse. You’d think becoming a member of the walking dead would mellow a person out, no more worrying about awkward small talk with people, no more having to be politically correct, and the entire world is your upright, bipedal buffet. Don’t get me wrong, it’s fun as hell to be a zombie, just somewhat irritating at times, especially those times you have to watch a lame movie or read a lame book. Thankfully, when I am forced to watch these films or read those books, I’ve got places like The Undead Review to bitch and moan to my heart’s content. {When he’s not devouring the living or sinking his teeth into a good film The Undead Review (Andy Taylor) spends his time writing his own stories or hunting down the paranormal. Oh, and did we mention his blind dog once saved the world?)
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