Stupid Zombies


You are an Ash Williams look alike, and it’s your job to stop an unstoppable horde of the undead, a horde that just kind of stands there behind stuff doing nothing.

I now know why zombies have never gotten ahead of the living, because we don’t hide behind wooden crates and other assorted objects doing absolutely nothing. No, seriously, think about it. We’re always walking towards people that are shooting at us. We end up as little more than slow moving targets that are too hungry to duck as bullets fly at us one after the other. If we hid behind a box or some such object and made the humans waste their ammo trying hit us, we’d be free to go at them unchallenged once they ran out of bullets. Then again, that could lead to some kind of arms race between the living and the dead with humans getting guns capable of holding more ammo and zombies getting bigger and bigger boxes until the world is nothing but some kind of nightmare that consists of only giant boxes and masses of spent shells (or casings or whatever, I’m not good with firearm’s lingo). Personally, I don’t want to live in that world, at least not until someone makes boxes more enjoyable, maybe puts pictures on them or something, pictures that maybe even move. Yeah, someone should get on that idea.

Have you ever played that one game that everyone was playing for a little while, the one everyone usually played while pooping? Had something to do with birds that were in an irritated state of mind because some asshole kept throwing them at deformed pigs? Yeah, that’s pretty much what this is, just with zombies and a dude that looks like Ash from Evil Dead minus his chainsaw. NotAsh stands to one side of the screen while the zombies stand at various places around the rest of the screen. You aim NotAsh’s shotgun at the zombies, or around them, or above them, really anywhere the shot can ricochet around enough to take out either a few zombies or knock objects around that will in turn take out a few zombies. You have five shots, a set number of zombies, and a maze work of obstacles and platforms to get around. Succeed and progress to another level where you will do the same thing over again, only with the zombies in new positions and new obstacles to get around.

SZ2{Yay, they fell, can’t wait to make them fall all over again}

What can you say about a game with such a simple premise other than some are going to like, and some aren’t. It certainly not a bad game, at least I’m guessing based on the success of the aforementioned Angry Birds. I found it immensely boring and repetitive, the changing layout not being enough to make me want to keep playing past more than a few levels at a time, but I felt much the same way about Angry Birds, and that game had a lot more to it as far as judging the geometry of your throw while Stupid Zombies only requires you to judge your aim in a manner similar to playing a game of pool. Though I will say that at least Stupid Zombies makes more sense in that you’re trying to stop a group of zombies instead of pissing off birds by chucking them at pigs, giving the birds every right to be angry. Have you ever been thrown at a pig? I haven’t either, but I imagine it makes one pretty angry.

SZ3{This doesn’t seem like a setup that’s going to end with the bird’s happiness}

If you enjoyed Angry Birds and need something to pass the time while you poop, Stupid Zombies might be the game for you, otherwise you can find something more enjoyable.


The Undead Review


Developed By: GameResort

Platform: IOS or Android Device

Release Year: 2015

Rotten Heads: Two and Half Heads Out of Five

About The Undead Review

When I was alive I was an asshole and after I died remained pretty much the same, if not a little worse. You’d think becoming a member of the walking dead would mellow a person out, no more worrying about awkward small talk with people, no more having to be politically correct, and the entire world is your upright, bipedal buffet. Don’t get me wrong, it’s fun as hell to be a zombie, just somewhat irritating at times, especially those times you have to watch a lame movie or read a lame book. Thankfully, when I am forced to watch these films or read those books, I’ve got places like The Undead Review to bitch and moan to my heart’s content. {When he’s not devouring the living or sinking his teeth into a good film The Undead Review (Andy Taylor) spends his time writing his own stories or hunting down the paranormal. Oh, and did we mention his blind dog once saved the world?)
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