Friday the 13th Part 3


Last night Jason Voorhees killed all but one camp counselor to avenge the death of his mother and escaped before the authorities could catch him. Unfortunately for a group of kids partying at a nearby cabin, the vicious killer is heading straight for their shindig.

I’ve often wondered what Jason Voorhees would have tasted like if a zombie had actually eaten him before he died. Would he have tasted any differently than a normal human, and for that matter does any evil man or woman taste differently. Would eating Jeffery Dahmer or Ted Bundy give a zombie a bad taste in his mouth or would it just taste like any other human. I mean, obviously as a member of the living dead now Jason Voorhees no longer has to worry about one of us trying to eat him, but there are still a few evil men who could be turned, or depending upon exactly how evil they were, just eaten alive. I guess what I’m getting at in the end is would you be able to taste the evil in a man’s flesh? Hmm, I guess I will have to ponder this bit of undead philosophy at a later date since I have a movie to review.

Our third film in the series begins right after the second, with Jason running for his life while the police find the remnants of last night’s brutal romp and cart away the one survivor who now appears quite insane. As Mr. Voorhees travels away from Camp Crystal Lake he comes across a small mom and pop grocery store where he can get some much needed carnage in before heading onward (we each have our addictions and murdering innocent victims who happen to get in the way is his, you drink too much coffee, he murders, same thing). Enter our victims, six (I assume) college kids and two old stoners, all on their way up to a cabin in the woods that just happens to be right in Jason’s path. Once the two sides meet up, all hell breaks loose and one by one they all become victim to the maniac’s rampage.


{Jason looking sexy as ever}

Again the series seems to be doing well for itself at this point, even if it’s no longer occurring on Friday the 13th anymore. After watching these film’s one after the other I expected to see them get worse and worse, but so far they have managed to stay fairly interesting and well done. In fact, it isn’t until the 5th one that the series begins its downhill slide into comedic hilarity (well, okay, the 4th throws some in there too but it isn’t at its worst till 5). Having this one take place out in a cabin in the woods doesn’t seem like a huge changeup with having it at a campground, but it did shift the series enough to keep it from being just a clone of the last two, and I’m glad they made the change. They also continued with what was started in the last film with great characterizations. We even get some new victims that don’t have anything to do with the cabin or the group staying there such as the shop owners in the beginning, or a group of bikers who come looking for some revenge and end up on Jason’s hit list, and Jason himself really comes into his killing creativity in this one.


{We can only hope that was not his “alone time” hand}

Anything and everything is up for grabs as an implement of death for the big guy, and he gets damn creative with these tools too. The effects actually get a lot better too, and they needed to in order to make the more creative deaths work, not that they were terrible in the others but the effects for the third installment don’t feel as dated as the previous two. It was only thanks to the improvement in the effects that the deaths were as enjoyable and as fun as they were, though there is one complaint. When this one came out it was released in 3D. I’ve seen the film in 3D and it’s Fucking Awesome, but when not watched in the third dimension the effects created solely for the 3D just don’t work all that well (this is the unfortunate thing about any 3D movie watched in 2D). It’s not enough to make me say they’re bad effects when not in 3D, but when an eyeball pops out at you in 2D, it looks a little funky and laughable.


{Believe it or not, it actually does look better in 3D}

One thing that really made this film great was how the film’s producers let Jason run wild for the third installment. Gone is the first person point of view and we are instead shown Jason in all his psychotic glory as he hacks and slashes his way through a fairly high body count. Though I do have to admit he looks nothing like he did in the last film, I guess he got a haircut and a shave while he was on the run since he was fairly hairy in the last one. Part 3 is also the first time Jason gets his infamous hokey mask, something he won’t ever seem to lose again.


{No one will ever rock a hockey mask harder}

I’m not going to say this film is going to blow anyone away, but I still think it is a great addition to the series and if nothing else at least a good one time watch.


The Undead Review


Jason’s Kill Rate:

Meat Cleaver: 1

Knitting Needle: 1

Pitchfork: 2

Spear Gun: 1

Machete: 2

Electrocution: 1

Fire Poker: 1

Wooden Mallet: 1

Head Crush: 1

Unknown: 1

Total Kills This Film: 12

Jason Total Kills: 21

Series Kills: 29


Directed By: Steve Miner (Friday the 13th: Part 2, Halloween: H2O)

Starring: Paul Kratka, Dana Kimmell (Lone Wolf Mcquade, Sweet 16), and Richard Brookner (Deathstalker, Deep Sea Conspiracy) stepping into the killer’s shoes

Released By: Paramount Pictures and Georgetown Productions Inc.

Release Year: 1982

Release Type: Theatrical Release

MPAA Rating: Rated R

About The Undead Review

When I was alive I was an asshole and after I died remained pretty much the same, if not a little worse. You’d think becoming a member of the walking dead would mellow a person out, no more worrying about awkward small talk with people, no more having to be politically correct, and the entire world is your upright, bipedal buffet. Don’t get me wrong, it’s fun as hell to be a zombie, just somewhat irritating at times, especially those times you have to watch a lame movie or read a lame book. Thankfully, when I am forced to watch these films or read those books, I’ve got places like The Undead Review to bitch and moan to my heart’s content. {When he’s not devouring the living or sinking his teeth into a good film The Undead Review (Andy Taylor) spends his time writing his own stories or hunting down the paranormal. Oh, and did we mention his blind dog once saved the world?)
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