Legion

Leg1

When God loses faith in humanity he sends an army of angels to cleanse mankind from the face of the Earth. There’s only one hope for our salvation, the child of a hopeless women working at a diner in the middle of nowhere. While most of God’s army obeys the command of their father one angel in particular refuses to obey a command he does not believe in, the archangel Michael. Together with the small band of people stuck in a diner he must defend the mother of mankind’s hope from the angels bent on its destruction.

I’ve always liked the idea that where ever I go there is a watchful angel protecting my every step and making sure I don’t get myself into too much trouble. I can’t count the amount of times I’ve walked into a place expecting to grab myself a tasty human morsel and had the sudden feeling that someone was standing there with a shotgun ready to go for the vulnerable head shot (thanks George for giving that one away) only to watch as an undead buddy took the blast instead. While I do love the thought of being watched from above, I always wonder where the watching stops. Like if I do something naughty to myself is he watching then? For that matter, how do I know for sure it’s a he? I had the urge to name my watcher George, but George can be a female name too. Hell, how do I know that I’m not being watched right now as I write this? He or she might not even like me talking about this stuff. I need to get this done so I can go quickly hide under the covers. It’s a well-known fact that the covers shield one from the prying eyes of the supernatural. I learned that as a kid.

Our film of the night starts off with your common group of dead end lost souls in a middle of nowhere restaurant. The group is complete with Bible toting cook, angry at the way life turned out drunk, rich parents with their rebellious daughter that just got stuck when their car broke down, the pregnant teen wishing she was somewhere else, and the boy that has a huge crush on the pregnant girl. It quickly becomes something much different when a cute old lady with a bad set of teeth and a penchant for clinging to ceilings walks into our small little diner and attempts to perform a late term abortion herself. Soon all hell breaks loose as angel possessed people start showing up and trying their own hands at abortion. The only thing stopping them is rebellious angel Michael who thinks that God has made a bad decision this time. I guess there is a first for everything.

 Leg4

{Suddenly grandma pinching your cheeks doesn’t seem so bad does it}

I know, I know, how does this fit in with the Year of the Undead? Technically, it kind of doesn’t. However, this is another one of those movies that makes me think zombie every time I watch it. The angel possessed humans coming after our small little group of huddled survivors come across as a zombie horde ready to devour the living. It also had the same basic structure of your standard zombie flick, group of survivors holing up against an overwhelming force of human like creatures coming to either end their lives or absorb them into their group. I kind of just watched it because someone gave me a copy and I wanted to check it out, but it hit me as a zombie film while I was watching it, so I figured why not give it a review.

 Leg2

{Angel vs. Angel fight scenes are something zombie movies are sadly lacking}

The plot is lackluster to be honest and doesn’t really factor too much into the movie, but one thing it does deliver on as promised is the action. I liked that it never slowed down too much, even at the more touching angel love scenes (they’re so cute when they cry). The pace goes for most of the movie with lots of gunfire, some good explosions, and the best angel vs. angel fight scene I’ve ever caught. I thought it was fairly original for the most part, though it did borrow a little from the Christopher Walken flick The Prophecy. Though it may have had some originality I wish the film had a little better of a story, like I said before, it was simply lackluster. It just felt rushed and second hand to the movie, as though it didn’t matter much and the acting was all that they cared about.

 Leg6

{They don’t so much care what happens as long as they get to shoot their guns}

The acting is pretty good with a cast of notables I didn’t expect to see. While I can’t say anyone did a bad job, and I’m a huge fan of both Dennis Quaid and Charles S. Dutton (Dutton being one of my favorite actors), I do think Paul Bettany stood out as the film’s real star playing arch angel Michael. One specialty of Bettany’s is the ability to play the conflicted character doing what he believes is right even if it causes him great emotional pain. That was exactly what Legion needed for our angel fighting for humanity. Again though, while I found him to be the best this film had every actor here did an amazing job with their characters. I also thought the character development was done extremely well, and I found myself actually feeling sad when certain characters were killed off (I’m not saying which you will just have to watch).

 Leg5

{No one else could pull off the “Where the fuck are my wings” look}

The effects were done extremely well which is what you would expect from a director that got his start in the visual arts field of film making. The only time I found the effects lacking was in some of the transformation scenes. Some of the angel possessed people transform into hideous creatures at different times throughout the film. The transformations were very creative but were done via CGI and it definitely showed in how unrealistic they looked. Most of the effects are great, especially those action sequences where the bullets are flying and explosions are going off left and right, but the transformations scenes brought everything down a notch.

 Leg3

(Who knew angels looked so scary, oh, the people who wrote the Bible, you should see how some of them are described}

This is one I’d recommend giving a shot, it’s not going to blow you away but it’s still a fun movie to watch. Just don’t expect that your guardian angel is going to be too happy with you watching his brethren’s end game.

 

 

The Undead Review

 

 

 

Directed By: Scott Stewart (Dark Skies, Priest)

 

Starring: Paul Bettany (A Knight’s Tale, Priest), Lucas Black (Jarhead, The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift), Adrianne Palicki (John Wick, Red Dawn), Charles S. Dutton (Alien 3, Secret Window), and Dennis Quaid (The Day After Tomorrow, Innerspace)

 

Released By: Bold Films and Sony Pictures

 

Release Year: 2010

 

Release Type: Straight to Video

 

MPAA Rating: Rated R

About The Undead Review

When I was alive I was an asshole and after I died remained pretty much the same, if not a little worse. You’d think becoming a member of the walking dead would mellow a person out, no more worrying about awkward small talk with people, no more having to be politically correct, and the entire world is your upright, bipedal buffet. Don’t get me wrong, it’s fun as hell to be a zombie, just somewhat irritating at times, especially those times you have to watch a lame movie or read a lame book. Thankfully, when I am forced to watch these films or read those books, I’ve got places like The Undead Review to bitch and moan to my heart’s content. {When he’s not devouring the living or sinking his teeth into a good film The Undead Review (Andy Taylor) spends his time writing his own stories or hunting down the paranormal. Oh, and did we mention his blind dog once saved the world?)
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