Zombies, Zombies, Zombies (Strippers vs. Zombies)

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A university professor makes the mistake of befriending the school janitor, who in turn makes the mistake of sharing something he stole from said professor with his “date” for the night, who in turn makes the mistake of sharing the same substance with her friend, the result… a desperate group of survivors from all walks of life intent on surviving what looks to be the end of the world.

Has it ever occurred to anyone that maybe zombies just like strip clubs? That maybe even a dead man might not be so dead where it counts? That maybe the shambling ghoul coming into the club has a whole load of one dollar bills he’s ready to spend? No, of course not. You just assume if we’re coming it can only mean one thing, blood. Not true, I mean most of the time sure, our only interactions with the living are when the dinner bell ring, but strip joints are a different matter. I can’t speak for my entire species as a whole but I know the majority of us prefer to get a good meal in right before hitting up the strip joint just so we don’t get all bitey when we’re there. You do, after all, want to give the strippers your money and not your diseases (if only the living could remember that as well).

Our film begins with a party hardy janitor at a laboratory and the scientist he has managed to befriend. It seems the scientist is working on…yep, you guessed it, a way to bring the dead back to life, but a side effect of his research is an extra substance that will give you one hell of a high. Proving that even being a genius doesn’t save one from stupidity, the scientist is dumb enough to give the drug over to his buddy the janitor, who decides he’s not getting enough and steals more when the scientist’s back is turned. Unfortunately what he stole wasn’t more of his wonder drug but the virus itself, something he just mixes in with his drug before leaving the scientist to his work. Once in his possession, the janitor takes a trip to his favorite lady of the night with whom he shares the powdery goodness, but while his back his turned, the thief is robbed, and his hooker gets away with a little bit of his stash. While the mild mannered janitor is a little bit more restrained with his use of the drug, the hooker is not; she continues to rampantly comsume it while making her way to the local hooker hangout, a greasy spoon dinner that is also the hangout for a group of strippers from the nearby club. The two sides do not get along very well. Things only get worse when pimp Johnny “Backhand” Vegas shows up to collect his girls and grab a bite to eat. As his name implies, he doesn’t mind hitting anyone in his cadre of prostitutes and one victim of his wrath is one too many for a member of the strippers and the brother of another, who both get in the pimp’s face and stop him from landing a single blow. Things quickly get heated, but before a fight can break out, our prostitute from earlier (who has been taking hits off the pipe since receiving her wonder drug) succumbs to the drug’s effects and turns into a ravenous zombie, killing and reanimating several of her fellow prostitutes. The two sides quickly come together and run to the strip club knowing the heavy doors will keep the undead outside, but as patrons continue to show up only to be turned into zombies themselves, the holed up survivors are going to have to figure out an escape route or kill an ever growing horde of the undead.

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{I need the secret of how they kept their hair so nice the whole night}

I have to be honest, I’ve had this movie for a couple months now but have been putting off watching it. Zombie Strippers is one of the worst films I have ever seen and seeing the bottom three words underneath the title for Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! (Zombies vs. Strippers) I kind of lumped this movie into the same category as the last. I guess I judged a book by its cover so to speak, but I could not have been more wrong.

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The main thing that saves this movie from being as bad as its counterpart is the fact that someone actually took the time to make a decent movie, and this included writing a story instead of just showing nonstop T and A and hoping no one would care the movie sucked. In fact, most of the film’s strength comes from the writing, whether it’s the story, the characters, or the dialogue.

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{There is definitely some hot, armless T and A though}

The story in particular showcases a few ideas that I thought were excellent. Not just showing a bunch of chicks stripping, but keeping the focus on the zombies was one. I’m not going to say I don’t like seeing tit shots, but I want something more to a film than just mindless sex, there’s porn for that (and zombies make some great porn). Another thing that I thought was great because you don’t see it very often in zombie films was the fact that the film’s characters easily accept they’re being attacked by zombies. There’s no “zombies don’t exist” or “what were those things”, they know what they’re being attacked by and they accept it because there’s nothing else they can do. I also thought it was smart to turn only a couple people via the drug while having all the rest turn in your standard zombie fashion. It would have been kind of lame to have a drug fueled zombie horde attacking the strip club; then it’s essentially just a meth head movie. They also kept the story moving along at a nice pace, slowing down only a few times for some of the film’s more emotional moments, and one of these emotional moments is ruined in such a spectacular way that it made up for, at least in my mind, some of the sappier scenes. I can’t give it away because it wouldn’t be nearly as funny if you knew it was coming but a very touching scene is ruined by none than super pimp “Backhand” Vegas. The smartest thing they may have done though was NOT making this a comedy. While the movie does have its funnier bits, the movie itself is not supposed to be funny and it was the right way to go in my opinion.

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{Hint, hint}

The characters were great as well, with my favorite being Mr. Vegas. I know he’s a complete asshole and a really disgusting human being, but I couldn’t help but love his ability to say whatever the hell he damn well wanted. He deserves a pimp slap himself for his attitude toward women, no doubt there, I eat people and even I would never smack a woman, but the comedic relief he sometimes brings with him and the awful things he says make him the most colorful character in the cast. That doesn’t mean the other characters are boring because everyone brings something to the table, Vegas just stands out the most. The actors portraying these characters aren’t the greatest, but they’re far from bad, and they do a good job of playing their parts.

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{My mom would have still slapped the shit out of Mr. Vegas}

There was one mistake made in the film that seems almost inexcusable considering everything that was done right, and that mistake was made in the effects. The zombie makeup isn’t too bad but then again there really aren’t many rotted ghouls (most look more or less normal) so it didn’t take much, but the gore just looks bad, especially the blood which looks like someone dumped some red food coloring into a bucket of water and just went with it. The filmmakers for Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! are obviously talented people so I can’t understand why they slacked so much with the effects. They did so well will nearly everything else that letting something as important to a zombie film as gore go to the wayside just kind of baffles me.

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{They just kind of look like angry accident victims}

While the effects are most assuredly a letdown the rest of the movie makes up for it as best it can. I’d still recommend giving this one a shot. If you hate it…well, I always accept hate mail.

 

 

The Undead Review

 

 

Directed By: Jason Murphy (The Unbroken)

Starring: Lyanna Tumaneng (Letters to God, The Fiesta Grand), Jessica Barton (The Fiesta Grand, Survival of the Nude Reality Girls), and Hollie Winnard (The Fiesta Grand, All Wrapped Up)

Released By: In The Dark Entertainment and Passion River Films

Release Year: 2008

Release Type: Straight to Video

MPAA Rating: Not Rated

About The Undead Review

When I was alive I was an asshole and after I died remained pretty much the same, if not a little worse. You’d think becoming a member of the walking dead would mellow a person out, no more worrying about awkward small talk with people, no more having to be politically correct, and the entire world is your upright, bipedal buffet. Don’t get me wrong, it’s fun as hell to be a zombie, just somewhat irritating at times, especially those times you have to watch a lame movie or read a lame book. Thankfully, when I am forced to watch these films or read those books, I’ve got places like The Undead Review to bitch and moan to my heart’s content. {When he’s not devouring the living or sinking his teeth into a good film The Undead Review (Andy Taylor) spends his time writing his own stories or hunting down the paranormal. Oh, and did we mention his blind dog once saved the world?)
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