American Zombie

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Follow documentary filmmakers Grace Lee and John Solomon as they document the odd life of undead citizens trying to fit into a society mostly populated by the living.

Really, you finally decide to make a documentary on the living dead and you don’t use yours truly in it. Now, if it was just a matter of personal pride I could probably let it go, but the fact that you only use zombie hippies in this, well-preserved zombie hippies I might add, pretty much seals the deal for this movie going on my zombie misrepresentation list. These guys don’t even like flesh, they just want to bitch about their problems while crying about how hard it is to fit in to the human world. Trust me, you’ll never catch us whining and crying about being outside your world because no zombie actually wants to be a part of your world. Why the hell would we care about fitting in with our food source? Not to mention how much more fun it is to be dead, in fact, my only regret about being dead is that it didn’t happen sooner.

The movie starts off with documentary filmmakers Grace Lee and John Solomon (who both play themselves) deciding to do a documentary all about the undead. In their world, zombies are a very common thing and most have managed to adjust to life among the living rather well. Some happen to fall into the crazed just want to bite you category, but since these are shown so little throughout the film I can’t tell you much about them. Zombies here work day jobs, have home lives, and even have a line of products all set up just for them (this last fact is very accurate for us undead today). Grace and John spend most of their time interviewing zombies who are about as interesting as a lesson on the history of the box. I mean, these guys are boring, and don’t have much to say about being undead, other than the occasional save the whale type of comment only directed toward the living dead (Save the Zombies kind of thing). As they hop between interviews with the undead they occasionally interview a specialist in Undeadology. These parts are fairly interesting, but always punctuated by the knowledge that sooner or later they are going to go back to the lonely lives of liquor store clerks, crazy cat ladies, and annoying wannabe hippies. All of these are of course the dead brought back to life, but don’t add anything to the film; they serve only to drag the movie along its extremely inane course toward some big zombie party where all the undead gather. Once at said party the filmmakers learn that not all is as it seems among the living dead, and if you can’t guess what the big surprise is you’re probably new to the zombie genre and need to expand your horizons well beyond this waste of cinematic trash so don’t bother starting out here.

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{We’ll just leave it at that}

I can’t stress exactly how boring this movie is. I was so excited to watch American Zombie when I read what it was about. A Mockumentary about the undead, how could they possibly go wrong with this? Apparently very easily is the answer to that question.

There isn’t much interesting to the movie. As I’ve said the interview with the “zombies” are boring, the lives these undead patrons lead are boring, and the people making the mock film are boring. BORING, BORING, BORING. Let’s talk about the zombies for a moment too. Did they run out of makeup while they were making this movie? Did the budget not allow for any effects? Or where they just too lazy to put some effort into it and decided to cheat the audience out of getting to see real zombies? The undead just look like you and I, and they bitch as much as Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox at a Transformers premier. I wanted to see zombies guys, zombies. These people don’t come anywhere near being zombies. The whole film is just bad, with the extremely predictable ending coming across cheap and lazy.

While not a complete bomb, I still felt robbed of an hour and a half of my life when it was over. Unless you really feel the need to be closer to your undead local gas station attendant, there is no reason to watch this flick.

 

 

The Undead Review

 

Directed By: Grace Lee (The Grace Lee Project, Janeane from Des Moines)

Starring: Grace Lee and John Solomon who both play themselves

Released By: Lee Lee Film and Cinema Libra Studios

Release Year: 2007

Release Type: Straight to Video

MPAA Rating: Not Rated

About The Undead Review

When I was alive I was an asshole and after I died remained pretty much the same, if not a little worse. You’d think becoming a member of the walking dead would mellow a person out, no more worrying about awkward small talk with people, no more having to be politically correct, and the entire world is your upright, bipedal buffet. Don’t get me wrong, it’s fun as hell to be a zombie, just somewhat irritating at times, especially those times you have to watch a lame movie or read a lame book. Thankfully, when I am forced to watch these films or read those books, I’ve got places like The Undead Review to bitch and moan to my heart’s content. {When he’s not devouring the living or sinking his teeth into a good film The Undead Review (Andy Taylor) spends his time writing his own stories or hunting down the paranormal. Oh, and did we mention his blind dog once saved the world?)
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