Return of the Living Dead: Rave to the Grave (Part 5)

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The surviving members of the last movie are back combating the undead once again, only this time they’re doing it from the college campus. When Uncle Charley once again gets his hands dirty with the last remaining canisters of Trioxin; he ends up on the bottom of the food chain for a hungry zombie. Unfortunately for the local college, the chemical responsible for bringing the dead back to life ends up in a new rave drug called Z. Now, it’s up to Julian and his friends to once again stop the undead menace, only this time they’re going to have to crash the deadest party in history to do it.

If there were a Zombie ACLU, I would definitely report this movie for discrimination. Not since the Nazi’s began making propaganda films has a movie had such an underhanded purpose. What was this one’s you might ask? To make sure that no man, women, or child ever has the urge to watch another zombie flick again.

We start out with old Uncle Charley up to his tricks yet again. This time he’s trying to sell one of the canisters of Trioxin off to the Russians in order to make a little extra cash for his experimentation. While proving its worth to the men sent to collect, a specimen gets loose and he ends up zombie chow. Enter, once again, Julian and his friends who seem to have completely forgotten everything that happened to them the last time around. I don’t know, they’re in college so maybe too many brain cells have already been wasted away enjoying the party life. With Uncle C dead and gone, it’s up to Julian to go through his uncle’s stuff. Already, Julian seems to have no memory of the fact that it was his dear uncle who turned his parents into zombies and nearly let their kind overrun the world (shown in the last film) when he stumbles upon the remaining two canisters of Trioxin. It is this memory loss that has him taking one of the canisters to the school science lab for the purpose of finding out what the canisters contain (even though he already figured it out just one film ago). Lucky for the raver kids on campus, Julian’s friend Jeremy decides to ingest some of the unknown chemicals (he’s a raver kid, how intelligent did you think he was going to be) for “scientific purposes”. His reaction is the best trip he has ever experienced in his life. The group, despite Julian’s protest, decided to make a drug out of the substance and sell it for their upcoming rave. It’s only much later that the gang finds out that, surprise, surprise, taking unknown substances might be bad for your health (bath salts anyone). With most of the school now turning into hordes of the undead, it’s only a matter of time before the film’s tagline comes true and the big party becomes a “rave to the grave”.

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{I’m sure the filmmakers thought this was going to be hilarious}

God, I kind of threw up in my mouth a little bit just writing that. Does that tell you how bad this movie is? No, what if I told you that I not only threw up in my mouth a little bit, but my stomach just ruptured, my brain started hemorrhaging, and my nervous system just went into shock? Does that give you a better idea?

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{This is what the Z drug does to you but it’s very similar to how you’ll look if you decide to watch this piece of garbage}

The story is probably one of the absolute most ridiculous stories I have seen in a movie since “The Honest Politician”. I mean, really, zombie ecstasy, that was the best you guys could come up with. I’ve seen some dumb things done in a zombie flick (I.E. the zombie vs. shark battle in Zombie or the laughable The Video Dead), but only one film that was worse than this junk (The Video Dead, two if you count Retardead, I try and pretend that one doesn’t exist though). Not only is their main plot development ridiculous but the even more ridiculous things written into the story make it even worse. Let me give you just a couple of examples.

Can you please tell me why none of the people in this piece of garbage remember anything about the last movie? They were all in it, in fact they almost all died the last time, but this time around they seem to have no memory what so ever of the Trioxin or the zombie menace. I can understand the film’s producers wanting to distance themselves from the last film but why use the exact same characters only a bit into the future? I think a better example of this film’s outright ridiculousness (yes the term ridiculous is getting used a lot to describe this ridiculous movie) though is when they drop a bomb large enough to put a house size hole in the ground, but not strong enough to knock down anything around the blast site. Seriously, it puts this huge hole right in the middle of a stage but everything around the stage is just fine. The main leads actually hide behind a piece of plywood only five feet away from said hole and walk away just fine. Really guys? I’m not sure what they were thinking when they decided to even bother trying to make this work. The plot holes in this lame excuse for a movie would have made an epileptic seize.

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{Notice the confusing look like maybe they’ve seen this canister before. IT’S BECAUSE THEY FUCKING HAVE}

The actors seem to have actually gotten worse at acting this time around too. I don’t know how that’s possible, but there it is. They come off as more of a joke than anything else, showing in grand detail how NOT to act. The only good thing about their poor performances are that they may at least encourage new actors to get the proper training.

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{Encouraging acting lessons since 2005}

I almost don’t even want to talk about the horrible effects. I’m a little afraid that I might throw up in my mouth again. I could not believe how bad the makeup and effects were. At least with the last one the makeup was okay but in this one it was just bad, bad as in bottom of the barrel, we need to run as far away as possible, life couldn’t get much worse bad. I won’t even bother to describe the effects. They don’t even deserve the space in my review.

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{Crackheads and Zombies are not the same thing}

Conclusion, if you see this movie on the shelf, run as fast as you can away from it. It could only bring harm to those around you. The tape in the ring could not do as much damage to the people that watched it as this film will do to those who watch it.

 

The Undead Review

 

Directed By: Ellory Elkayem (Eight Legged Freaks, Return of the Living Dead 4: Necropolis)

Starring: John Keefe (Return of the Living Dead 4: Necropolis), Jenny Mollen (D.E.B.S., Cattle Call), and Cain Manoli (Catacombs)

Released By: Denholm Trading Inc. and Aurora Entertainment

Release Date: 2005

Release Type: Straight to Video

MPAA Rating: Rated R

About The Undead Review

When I was alive I was an asshole and after I died remained pretty much the same, if not a little worse. You’d think becoming a member of the walking dead would mellow a person out, no more worrying about awkward small talk with people, no more having to be politically correct, and the entire world is your upright, bipedal buffet. Don’t get me wrong, it’s fun as hell to be a zombie, just somewhat irritating at times, especially those times you have to watch a lame movie or read a lame book. Thankfully, when I am forced to watch these films or read those books, I’ve got places like The Undead Review to bitch and moan to my heart’s content. {When he’s not devouring the living or sinking his teeth into a good film The Undead Review (Andy Taylor) spends his time writing his own stories or hunting down the paranormal. Oh, and did we mention his blind dog once saved the world?)
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