Movie Review – Zombie Women of Satan

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In a laboratory hidden deep in the forest, an evil scientist is turning really hot, scantily clad women into still scantily clad, still kind of hot zombies and only the troop of a traveling freak show called Flesharama can stop them.

If only zombified women were really that hot when they came back to join the ranks of the undead. I mean sure, the bleeding from the nipples and, um, nether regions is kind of gross (the side effect of turning to the dead side at the hand of the film’s mad doctor). Okay, it’s a lot gross, but zombies can bathe so it seems like it would be fine with me. Yeah, I’m a little sick in the head but what did you expect, I’m a freaking rotted corpse, I takes it where I can gets it.

Our film begins with a traveling group known as Flesharama, a troupe of performers whose show consists of freaks, rockers, dancers, and a very demented clown going by the name of Pervo. Among the performers is hard rocking chick Skye Brannigan, a woman looking for her missing sister and using Flesharama’s travel budget to do it. She’s about to come closer to finding her than ever before when web personality Tycho Zander agrees to interview the colorful cast of characters for his hugely popular internet show. What no one knows is that Tycho’s dad happens to be a twisted scientist intent on conquering the secrets of life and death, as well as being the man who kidnapped Skye’s sister. It seems that beyond being the internet’s hottest thing, he’s also the guy who lures and then brainwashes girls into being obedient little rats for his father’s experimentation. Skye is about to get a lucky break though as no one at this little secluded laboratory in the woods thought it might be smart to hold their interviews somewhere other than where they hold kidnap women and practice illegal experimentation. When an accident turns most of the women into zombies that bleed from their sexy bits, Skye catches a glimpse of her missing sister, who is thankfully still among the living. Before she can react, Tycho and his own sister lock the members of Flesharama inside their interview room and race off in an attempt to control the situation. Skye, however, is not about to sit around and wait so she breaks out, determined to find her sister, but her traveling troupe of freaks and crazies aren’t going to let her go out on her own. Together, the group sets out to rescue Skye’s sister and stop the bleeding zombies from spreading out any further.

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Whether or not you should even attempt to watch this film is going to depend on a few questions. Can you find this film without having to shell out actual cash? Are you the type that can forgive a bad movie if it has a hilarious and colorful cast of characters? Do you mind occasionally having to fast forward? Do you have a free hour and a half you won’t want back and have absolutely nothing better to do than watch a fairly poor movie? If you answered yes to ALL (not just one) of these questions, than Zombie Women of Satan might just be for you.

You’re probably thinking that those questions are all just me being a smart ass and there is no reason what so ever to put this piece of shit on…not exactly. If you really can answer yes to all four questions than I’d say go ahead and check this one out, you might like it, I did. That’s right, I hate to say it but yes, I enjoyed this movie. The effects suck, the story is pretty lame, the zombies are poorly designed, and there are parts you’ll find yourself fast forwarding through (unless of course you enjoy watching dwarves shit for ten minutes), but the characters are great. These are the type of people I love hanging around anyway, sick minded, perverted as all hell, and willing to do anything for a good time. I really dug who they populated the movie with, as far as Flesharama is concerned anyway, the other characters are easily forgettable and only there to move the film along.   It doesn’t matter is it’s the overly sexed (and aptly named) Pervo the Clown, the tough as nails dwarf Zeus, or the occasionally psychotic ringleader, each one really just had me laughing for quite a bit of the movie.

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That’s all this movie has going for it though, everything else is either broken or completely destroyed, so whether you watch this one or not is going to be up to you, but I will say that if you can’t say yes to those earlier questions…don’t bother. Even answering no to one is probably enough to mean it isn’t going to be for you.

 

 

The Undead Review

 

 

Directed By: Steve O’Brian (No Place) and Warren Speed

Starring: Warren Speed (Gentry De Paris Revue), Victoria Hopkins (Blood Army 2009, Doghouse), and Christian Steel (Night Flight, Shakleton)

Released By: Growling Clown Entertainment and Revolver Entertainment

Release Year: 2009

Release Type: Straight to Video

MPAA Rating: Rated R

About The Undead Review

When I was alive I was an asshole and after I died remained pretty much the same, if not a little worse. You’d think becoming a member of the walking dead would mellow a person out, no more worrying about awkward small talk with people, no more having to be politically correct, and the entire world is your upright, bipedal buffet. Don’t get me wrong, it’s fun as hell to be a zombie, just somewhat irritating at times, especially those times you have to watch a lame movie or read a lame book. Thankfully, when I am forced to watch these films or read those books, I’ve got places like The Undead Review to bitch and moan to my heart’s content. {When he’s not devouring the living or sinking his teeth into a good film The Undead Review (Andy Taylor) spends his time writing his own stories or hunting down the paranormal. Oh, and did we mention his blind dog once saved the world?)
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